Naseeruddin Shah and Ratna Pathak Shah are widely regarded as one of the longest-lasting couples in Hindi cinema, known for their honesty, mutual respect and enduring bonds. However, long before the two got married in 1982, Naseeruddin faced difficulties in his first marriage with Purveen Murad, also known as Manara Sikri, the sister of veteran actor Surekha Sikri. The couple had a daughter, Heeba, and in his autobiography And One Day, the former actor reflects candidly on the subject of his life, admitting that he was an immature husband and a distant father in his early twenties.The story begins in the late 1960s when 19-year-old Naseeruddin Shah was studying at Aligarh Muslim University and developed an interest in acting. Although his family did not support his plans, Purveen, a 34-year-old medical student at the university, became his biggest supporter. Encouraged by the one person who believed in his dreams, Naseer fell in love even though he was 15 years old, and the two tied the knot.The marriage, however, faced opposition from both families. Naseer’s relatives objected because Purveen was a divorcee and a mother of two, while her family worried that the young actor might leave the relationship. In order to convince them, Naseer agreed to pay for the wedding if the marriage ended, not knowing that their relationship would begin to deteriorate.A year after their marriage, the couple welcomed their daughter, Heeba. Instead of strengthening their relationship, parenting exposed the cracks in their marriage. Looking back at his writings, Naseer takes full responsibility for his shortcomings. She wrote, “During her pregnancy, Purveen had changed a lot, and my lack of understanding of the miracle that had taken place in her and ignoring my expectations did not help. Many violent quarrels, which I always had the worst of, were the result. “Reflecting on his childhood, the actor admits that he did not have the maturity to support his wife during her pregnancy.“I couldn’t contribute in any way to make her feel better. I found that sex was difficult too. My mind was already wandering and I was beginning to mess with R, a good-looking second-year student who, as a prostitute in NSD’s production of The Threepenny Opera, had caught my attention earlier.”By the time Purveen entered the final months of her pregnancy, Naseer had enrolled at the National School of Drama, where his passions overtook his interest.“But I, without the knowledge of the responsibilities that it brings, the problem that is part of the whole relationship, and then the indescribable joy that it brings, I did not have time to preserve the life that I help to bring to the world; only my own pleasure came first, nothing else,” he wrote.The actor also admitted how isolated he was from everything his wife was going through at the time.“Sometimes I would steal flowers from the university garden and bring them to Purveen in my round basket. This pleased her, but apart from that I played the part of a naughty teenager to be perfect. The role of a father was beyond my ken.”Although her mother-in-law scolded her and gradually started helping her with household chores, including washing the dishes, she admits that her distance from him grew.“Little by little, I began to resent the child that was coming between me and the only woman who had ever taken care of me;Four days after Heeba’s birth, Naseer returned to NSD to avoid losing part of his studies due to missing classes. Although the birth of her daughter helped to improve her relationship with her father, it did little to restore her marriage.“Heeba’s arrival made Baba and I fair for a while, but now Purveen’s chasm had widened. Her whole life now revolved around Heeba and she and I had little to say to each other. The encouragement of being at the pinnacle of professional life ensured that I never missed her.”Looking back, the actor says that his behavior can be explained by his immaturity, although it was not appropriate.“My indifference to Heeba can be explained, although it is not acknowledged, because I myself was then an insecure, irreconcilable twenty-one year old with no idea of what it takes to raise a baby, and I neglected my share of the duties and foolishly tried at the same time to assert my rights as a man.”When communication with Purveen broke down, the marriage ended.“The only way to deal with a woman, in a country according to the Shahs, was to be strong and authoritative. Not knowing that I didn’t have all the power, I retreated to an angry shell. It hurt me to know that I was no longer the most important thing in Purveen’s life.”He also said that for many years he struggled to fall in love with his daughter.“I don’t know how I’m going to look if I say that I haven’t heard anything about baby Heeba for a long time, but it’s important to admit it. He didn’t read at all; it was just as if it didn’t exist.”During this time, Naseer had already met Ratna Pathak through theatre. The two fell in love but waited until 1982 to get married as his divorce from Purveen was still pending. According to the actor, the resolution of the agreed terms of separation took several years. In his books, he refers to Ratna as the “only love” of his life.Their relationship was also criticized in its early days. Speaking to The Lallantop, Ratna recalled that both families were skeptical, mainly because acting was seen as an unsustainable profession.“So, this is the problem, and on top of that he was an actor. Back then, Naseer used to hear, ‘How can a boy with such a face be an actor?’ Even if you are the best player, survival in this industry is not guaranteed. It’s a hard life.